


Thirteen and Three Days Was Four Years Ago, Darling

by basicallyiwriteshit



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AKA where I hurt my son, AU, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Bullying, Homophobia, M/M, Other, Past Child Abuse, Self-Harm, mentions of:
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 07:59:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8136367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/basicallyiwriteshit/pseuds/basicallyiwriteshit
Summary: The day Tsukishima is supposed to meet Tadashi he's out sick, and life is...different. Five years later, Tadashi is beaten into a coma by his bullies, and three more after that, they finally meet.





	

Tadashi doesn’t remember much about that day. 

He knows he was thirteen by only three days, he was walking home, and he was cornered. He was happy about a confession he’d gotten from a boy he liked. He remembers exchanging numbers, but for the life of him he can’t remember the boy’s name. He remembers being stopped. Names being tossed at him. And then everything goes black. He knows he must have been conscious after only one punch, he’s survived worse. He just simply cannot remember. 

His therapist says he’s repressing his memories, and that it’s for the best. He just wants to know what happened. 

“…Disgusting…” Tadashi has to force his hand away from his face, so he doesn’t have another episode and try to scrub his freckles away again. Instead, he clenches his fist and turns from the sink, marching his way out of the bathroom without looking back. 

“Tadashi, are you ready for school?” 

Tadashi smiles to the best of his abilities. “I am, auntie. I just need my lunch!” 

“I already made it! Can’t have you making your own on the first day, you’re already so stressed,” His aunt slides him over a lunch box and Tadashi takes it, feeling his stomach curl in on itself. He smiles a little bigger, though, to show his thanks, despite the fear clawing up his esophagus. 

“Thanks, auntie. I’ll be going, then.” 

“I’ll see you when I get off work!” 

“Bye!” 

Tadashi tries to keep his pace slow as he walks to school, but when he passes the Spot, he can’t help but speed up his pace, feeling paranoia kicking in. The boys hadn’t been arrested. They were just kids, the jury defended as Tadashi lay near-comatose in a hospital bed, unable to defend himself. Having fun, they said. 

Tadashi scoffs. “Lame.” 

“Hahh? What was that, shorty?” 

Tadashi flinches when he’s broken out of his stupor by a bald guy getting in his face a few feet away from the main gates of Karasuno high school. “I- I didn’t m- mea–” 

“My hair is great!” The baldy roars, rearing back and pumping his fists, and Tadashi takes the time to escape, breathing heavy. He can’t wait for the day to be over. 

The school day is anxiety-inducing, and he’s not allowed to come home until he joins a club. However, most of the clubs seem scary or lame. 

The sound of a ball hitting a gym floor attracts Tadashi’s attention as he tries to hide from some overzealous basketball players. With a nervous step, he makes his way to the source of the noise, an open gym door. When he looks inside, he’s met with the sight of the bald guy he met in the morning, landing gracefully on the ground as a trio of other upperclassmen lay on the floor near where the ball baldy had obviously hit at them. Baldy cheers and whirls around, eyes sharply glaring at the group of three at the side of the court. 

While Tadashi looks at baldy with interest, he’s too late to notice the blonde approaching him with a smile. “You’re here to join the volleyball club? You’re late! I’m Suga, by the way.” 

“A- Ah, I–” Tadashi doesn’t have time to deny it, he’s dragged into the gym and placed next to a tall blonde. “I’m not–” 

“Alright! Why don’t we get to know each other? How much experience do you all have?” 

“Oh! Oh! I’ve been playing since Elementary!” 

Suga smiles at the redhead that had jumped up and yelled. “That’s good!” 

The tall blond next to Tadashi snickers. “We all have, you dingus. Isn’t that right, King?” 

A dark haired boy – the King? – growls and launches himself at the blond, startling Tadashi and he takes a step back, trying to be discreet. “Don’t call me that, Tsukishima.” 

Tsukishima only laughs, turning his gaze to Tadashi, and he can’t help the small whimper that leaves his lips. Tsukishima’s gaze is intense, observant, muddy amber eyes piercing Tadashi’s own. Tadashi can’t help but think that the tall blond is going to make him his next victim. 

“What about you, kid?” 

“E- Eh?” 

“What, are you hard of hearing?” Tsukishima scoffs, rolling his eyes. “You’ve been doing this since you were young too, right?” 

“A- Ah, uh…No? I only really know the rules from school gym activities…” 

Tsukishima’s gaze softens a moment for him to give Tadashi an incredulous stare, but then it hardens again and he turns away from Tadashi, much to his relief. “Whatever. You’re still probably better than shrimpy, anyway. 

“Hey! I have a name! It’s Hinata Shoyou! And you’d better remember it!” 

“Whatever.” 

Sugawara smiles warily. “Ok! No problem that you don’t know how to play, uh…” 

“Yamaguchi Tadashi.” 

Suga smiles in the way that Tadashi knows means he didn’t hear but doesn’t want to pry, and opens his mouth to speak. “It’s no problem! We’ll all do our best to teach you. Sadly, our captain is out with Mono–” 

“Augh! Lucky Dai-san! Getting kissing disease!” 

“So it’s just us.” Suga dismisses baldy’s loud shout with a sharp glare, and turns to smile at the four first years. “But lets have fun, ok?” 

Hinata and the dark haired king shout out a loud “Yes!” while Tadashi and Tsukishima keep their voices lower. Sugawara grins, and tells them all to rest up and be ready for a full day of practice the next day. Tadashi is more than glad to do so, and almost runs out of the door. 

He’s not so lucky, though, because as he’s walking home, he immediately notices that Tsukishima is trailing behind him slowly. He tries not to let panic sink in, however; Tsukishima may just live in the same direction he does. He’ll turn sooner or later, and Tadashi can keep walking. Besides, just because Tsukishima is staring at him doesn’t mean he want to–

Wait, shit. 

“Oi, are you gonna quit awkwardly looking at me over your shoulder or ask if I’ll walk with you?” 

“Huh? A- Ah, no, I–” 

Tsukishima clucks his tongue, and in two quick strides is next to Tadashi. “You don’t have many friends, do you?” 

Tadashi cringes. “N- No…” 

“How far do you walk?” 

“I live- I, uh, live across town…so…about twenty blocks straight ahead…” 

Tsukishima raises an eyebrow but doesn’t comment. He also doesn’t tell Tadashi where he lives. They continue on in silence, the sound of footsteps the only thing they hear as they walk. Tadashi feels anxiety buzzing in his chest as he tries to find something to say. He’s never been one for silences. They make him think about things he shouldn’t, how much he doesn’t deserve to be alive, and it makes him short of breath. 

“S- So–” 

“Let’s not talk.” 

Tadashi bites his lips. “O- Oh. Ok.” 

 

Tadashi doesn’t know what he’s doing. 

Every day, he walks home with Tsukishima, on-edge with the tall intimidating blonde next to him. He’s become something akin to friends with Tsukishima, or at least the one he can tolerate the most. Tadashi doesn’t know what Tsukishima is thinking, but he’s pretty sure he’s thinking about how annoying he is. 

Tsukishima is definitely someone who would pick on Tadashi– which is why he’s so confused that he doesn’t. Even the boys from class two – whom he’s never even met – pick on him. Aside from the occasional “shut up” or comment about his hair, Tsukishima doesn’t even pay mind to Tadashi. He knows it’s not normal to seek pain and belligerence, but by now it’s normal. 

Tadashi doesn’t know what he’s doing. What he does know is that he hates Tsukishima Kei.

 

Months pass, and Tadashi starts too feel more at home on the volleyball team after the awkward first weeks where he was learning to play. The team is nice enough, and always looking to help him. Sugawara-san especially, and Hinata too. (Suga was guilty when Tadashi told him a few weeks after joining that he’d only been looking in to observe, not join, but quickly got over it when Tadashi told him he really was enjoying himself despite that fact.) 

Tadashi turns sixteen seamlessly, and three days later he stays home with his mother, cuddled up with her and his therapy dog, just like every year. 

When he comes back, everyone thought he was sick and asks him if he’s feeling better. He thinks it’s for the best they don’t know. As he’s reassuring the team, he sees Tsukishima in the corner of his eye, grip white-knuckle tight on a volleyball. He fights down a heavy gulp and goes back to practice. 

 

The thing is, Tadashi knows this situation is bad. He knows he shouldn’t be falling, but he is. Tsukishima Kei is gorgeous, and smart, and everything Tadashi wants to be, sans his horrible attitude. Tadashi is even embarrassingly attracted to his height, and how his head would fit so nicely in the crook of Tsukishima’s neck. 

Tsukishima Kei is also very straight. 

This is evident by the various girls Tadashi sees him with after school, handing him confession letters and chocolates. He always refuses, and Tadashi assumes he must have a girlfriend. She must be very loyal to stay with Tsukishima for so long, what with his attitude and his consistent lack of emotion. 

He tells his mother there’s a boy he may like, just to get advice, but she isn’t much help. She says she needs to know who the boy is in order to give proper advice. So instead he wallows in his own self pity, because he doesn’t have much else to do. 

 

“Oi! We’re cutting practice short today, there’s a big storm coming and most of us walk, so we’d better hurry home.” 

“Yes, captain!” 

Tadashi is in his second year now, and seventeen years and two days old. 

Tadashi is quick to get dressed back into his school uniform. He lives the farthest away, and so he’s probably not going to make it home before the storm hits. It’s usually dark by time he gets home, when the sun is just starting to set when he leaves. Quickly shoving his practice clothes in his bag, Tadashi is the first out of the club room. He really doesn’t want to be out in a storm; he’s always been afraid of them. 

“Oi! Where’re you goin’?” 

Tadashi freezes. “H- Home.” 

“Without me?” 

Tadashi curses silently as footsteps approach, and his commute is made that much longer. “S- Sorry, Tsukki.” 

Tsukishima clucks his tongue. “Whatever. Let’s go before it starts to rain.” 

“O- Ok…” 

So they walk. Thunder rolls in the distance, and Tadashi flinches. He knows Tsukishima saw it, but he’s glad he doesn’t mention it. His old bullies usually would. Going to school during the rainy season is always the worst. 

…And just when Tadashi thinks it can’t get much better, it starts to rain. Hard. 

The rain starts so suddenly, and pours so hard, that it has Tadashi cussing. Tsukishima looks surprised at that, but he stays silent as he roughly grabs Tadashi’s wrist and starts to pull him towards a storefront a bit down the road. 

Thunder rolls again, and Tadashi lets out a whimper. As Tsukishima goes into the store to buy an umbrella, Tadashi checks his phone to see how wet it got, and his eyes widen at the date: November 13th. Three days after his birthday. _How had he and his mother not noticed? He was so stupid–_

“Oi. He, idiot, breathe.” 

Tadashi’s breath hitches, and he remembers where he is. “S- Sorry, Tsukki–” 

_“You useless kid. You can’t do anything right!”_

“Yamaguchi–” 

_“Ugly.”_

_The door slamming again, and again, and again. Yelling, muffled by pounding rain. The clap of hands against skin just like thunder._   _Scratching at the walls like water rushing through the gutters._

Tadashi just wants to be _home_ , home, so he can hide and be pathetic in the closet alone like he always does. He brings his hands up to grip at his arms, shuddering, finally feeling the effects of the rain soaking him to the bones. He’s cold, so cold. 

Tsukishima returns into Tadashi’s line of sight, and he’s talking to him, but he can’t hear a word the other boy says. 

_Pathetic. I don’t know why your mother didn’t get rid of you._

“Hey, breathe–” 

_You’d be better off dead._

Tadashi opens his mouth just enough to gasp out a single word– “Disgusting.” 

_Yamaguchi is a queer~!_

Tsukishima stares at him with wide eyes. “What?” 

_We need to get rid of him before he thinks he can start liking us!_

Tadashi grips his arm tighter, nails digging into skin so hard he starts to bleed, staining his white uniform shirt. He wants to vomit. “Yamaguchi–?” 

“Ugly.” 

“Oi, Yamag–” 

“Pathetic.” 

 _You’re idiot_ boyfriend _left you because he realized that being with a boy is disgusting._

“You’re _bleeding_ –” 

“Useless.” 

_Where should we put you so no finds your faggot ass when you die?_

“Stop that and give me your arm–” 

_You don’t deserve to live. You don’t deserve to live. You don’t–_

“ _You don’t deserve to live_ –“ Tadashi wails, curling his body in around his bleeding upper arms. Tsukishima flounders uselessly. “That’s what they called me every day. There were more; there were terrible, terrible names. I can’t remember some of them, y’know? But I know they were bad. They have to be, if they yelled them while beating me near half to death!” 

Tadashi is hysterical by now, and Tsukishima is helpless in trying to bring him back to reality. 

“Wh- Wha– B- Beat–? Yamaguchi, what are you–” 

“And you remind me of them. I’m constantly terrified that you’ll hurt me, and I know it’s unreasonable, but you’re always looking at me, and your eyes, and– a- an- and I c- ca- I can’t _breathe around you_ , and–” 

Tsukishima cuts Tadashi off by pulling him into a tight embrace. “I swear I would never hurt you. Never. I- I want to do the exact opposite. After hearing that– No, even before that. I knew I needed to protect you, from the day I met you, Yamaguchi Tadashi. Please don’t think I’d hurt you.” 

Tadashi shakes in Tsukishima’s arms, and he holds in a loud shriek as his fingers dig deeper into pliant skin, blood slicking his numbing fingers. He still can’t breathe, and the thunder is still booming, _and_ –

Something slips over Tadashi’s ears, and loud, loud classical music overshadows the pouring rain. Hands wrap around his own, prying his fingers away, and he squeezes them with all his might. As the music plays, Tadashi feels his shuddering breath slow. It takes a while for him to fully calm down, open his eyes, and finally look Tsukishima in the face. 

“S- Sorry…” He mumbles, but he can’t hear his own voice over the music. “Sorry, I…” 

Tsukishima shakes his head, and pulls Tadashi in tight. Music plays softly in Tadashi’s ears, and he doesn’t even realize he’s been picked up until one of the earphones is slid off. “Where’s your house?” 

“O- Off– the main road…At the end….” The headphones are slid back on, and Tadashi feels exhaustion hit. He finds himself drifting off in Tsukishima’s strong arms, still feeling sick to his stomach. 

When Tadashi wakes, he recognizes the area around them as his street, and it suddenly hits him what’s happened. He’s in Tsukishima Kei’s arms. He just had a panic attack in front of Tsukishima fucking Kei, someone he’s terrified of. There’s blood still dripping from his open wounds on his arms. He’s in Tsukishima Kei’s arms–

“Shit.” Tadashi tries to scramble away, but Tsukishima’s grip on him is tight, and he sees the blond looking down at him, confused, as he struggles. The headphones slide off his ears and he can hear very clearly heavy rain still pouring, and he’s thankful at least for the umbrella Tsukishima’s carefully holding along with carrying Tadashi. 

“Which house is yours?” 

“I- I can get home from here–” 

“I want to make sure you’re ok, and bandage up your arms. Which house is yours?” 

“No, I–” 

“Yamaguchi.” 

Tsukishima’s voice is so stern Tadashi actually whimpers at his tone of voice, and points to his right. They’re right in front of his house. 

With a nod, Tsukishima walks up to the door and sets Tadashi down, holding out a hand for the keys. Reluctantly, Tadashi reaches into his uniform pants and hands Tsukishima the keys. Tsukishima lets them in, and Tadashi tries to keep himself calm as they make their way to the bathroom, to get the first aid kit. 

“Take your shirt off.” 

Tadashi blinks at Tsukishima. “…What..?” 

“So I can see your arms. Take your shirt off.” 

Right. Bleeding. Right. Tadashi is quick to comply, unbuttoning his shirt and sliding it off, cringing when it sticks to his skin. Tsukishima frowns at the sight of the nail marks in his forearms and the scars littering his torso. 

“What are these from?..” 

“Nothing.” 

“They aren’t–” 

“I said nothing.” Tadashi feels his throat closing, and he reminds himself to breathe. “Just…old baggage. It’s nothing.” 

Tsukishima doesn’t look convinced, but he takes the first aid kit and starts working on his injuries either way. The peroxide stings, Tsukishima’s tied the gauze around his forearms far too tight, and he wasn’t even allowed to have one of the suckers his mother keeps in the kit. Tadashi is glad Tsukishima is there, though. Or more, he’s glad he doesn’t have to go through this alone. And the whole time, Tsukishima lets him listen to music to mute the storm outside. 

Then Tsukishima leaves with his headphones and the umbrella and Tadashi is alone with his thoughts. 

They don’t talk about it afterwards. Life goes on. Tadashi is still scared of Tsukishima, Tsukishima is still Tsukishima. However, Tadashi can feel golden eyes boring holed into the back of his head, and he knows something in their dynamics have changed. 

He thinks maybe he’s ok with that, though. 


End file.
